Stools, Submission, and Sheryl

In February 2015 the Lord convicted me to submit to my husband. Well it wasn't quite like that. He didn't write it in the heavens with a sky-writer plane for me to read; wasn't a bolt of lightening for me to feel; it also wasn't in a loud booming voice so that I could unmistakably hear the words. No, just like He always does: quietly, but not with words; gently, but not with feelings; but strongly, with conviction.

The latest example He used was with kitchen stools. I feel like I am getting to be a better listener though. The stools only took about 8 months; my dishes issue was closer to 4 years. If you haven't heard of that debacle; check out my blog for that story. I have been asking God to put things in black and white so I could read them. The dishes were a white issue; the stools black. I love hindsight and God's sense of humor!

Anyway, back to the stools. I have searched for 4 years for new stools for our counter. High and low; online and retail; from the hills of Pennsylvania to the coasts of Virginia and pretty much anywhere I've been in the last 4 years. Yes, including people's houses. Tried bartering, buying and even guilting some friends into giving theirs to me. But nothing. nada. zip. A local store I went into asked what price range I was looking for: low, medium or high. Not knowing, I choose medium. She said "Great, I'll get you the catalogs for them". I started flipping through and those medium priced stools were $500+. per stool. 4 stools = @$2000. I could buy a whole dining room suite! Saving face, I picked a few stools and said I needed to bring my husband back to help choose. Needless to say, I didn't return by myself or with dear hubby. Yes, throughout my searching, there were the proverbial "lesser expensive" stools but none seemed to work - too flimsy, too modern, too uncomfortable, wrong colors, wrong materials; you name it, I said it.

Anyway, back to being convicted. As I was telling my Ladies Bible study group (more commonly referred to as the Yakker's; but that explanation is for another day) once again, or perhaps more accurately, whining again, there it happened. It came right out of my mouth. Don't know how, but it did. What I was trying to say, was: "Yes Ladies, I know all the tricks to get a husband to do what you want without him realizing it;" "Yes, I agree I could just order the chairs and ask for forgiveness later;"  " Yes, yes, and yes to all the suggestions that the wise married ladies were spewing forth."  But what came out of my mouth you ask? "Ladies, it's not about the stools; it's a heart issue; it's about submission."

WAIT! WHAT? WHOA!!! Oh, no you didn't just say that!!

It was like I was E.F. Hutton. Dead silence for a minute. Well, they are the yakkers so it was more like 20 seconds. Then the ohs, the hmmms, the ouches.

My mind was scrambling wondering where in the world did the words come from? I tried to ignore them. Shove them aside. Forget them. Pretend they didn't happen. Assume they were just some annoying voices in my head. But guess what? What the Lord convicts, you can't erase. So I did the next best thing in my eyes. I decided that He had convicted me to submit more to Him. After all, daily devotions are uncommon for me; prayer life is scattered (although in my defense I do pray throughout the day!!); thankfulness in all things is difficult for me; joy had been escaping me. So there you go - He wanted me to submit to Him and I could begin immediately to do that. Grabbed the phone, downloaded a devotion app; got paper, wrote a prayer list to follow; continually hummed, "It is well with my soul."

But here was this deep, annoying, persistent, niggling thought. "Ah, dear child, not to me but to your husband. If you can't submit yourself to him, how will you ever be able to fully submit yourself to me?"

WAIT!  WHAT? WHOA!!! Oh no you didn't just hear that!!

Please Lord, no. Not that. You know there are so many things I know so much better how to handle then he does. So then unknowingly to dear hubby, the Lord even spouts words out of his mouth at me. Alright, I shouldn't say spouts. He did say them quietly and gently, but none-the-less the words cut right through me and I knew they were really from the Lord.

So I am now on this incredible journey that I should have started 18 yrs, 4 months, 7 days ago. And in my heart, I know that it will be a life-changing, mind-blowing, soul-growing path if I can just stay on it. I know my Lord, I know this is His will, I know His strength is but for my grabbing. But I know me too, so it will be challenging with lots of side excursions to smell the earthly roses causing many pricks by thorns, skinned knees, bruised hearts, and tears of joy, pain, and healing.

So this morning I sit here writing this while I think I should have been helping at our monthly food bank. He on the other hand believes I should rest. You know, he just may be right.

When we first married, my mom used to say he protected me from myself. 18 years later, after having suffered from a myriad of issues, I think my mom just might have been right too.

So what has God been chasing you about?

Cheryl

p.s. 5 days later after my revelation and acceptance, I ordered the perfect stools for the perfect price...


                                   God is perfect!!